Mini Lesson 10: Why Brazilians Have Five Words for "Dating"

Why Brazilians Have Five Words for "Dating

In English you can be "seeing someone", "dating" or "in a relationship" and none of that actually tells anyone where you stand. In Brazil, every stage of a relationship gets its own name, because nobody wants to guess.

The Relationship Timeline

• Ficante: someone you're seeing casually, no labels attached. From ficar, "to make out" or "to hook up". Could be one night, could be a few months, still not official.

• Namorado / Namorada: boyfriend / girlfriend. This is the first "official" stage, exclusive, and usually the point you get introduced to friends and family.

• Noivo / Noiva: fiancé / fiancée. Getting engaged is a bigger public milestone in Brazil than in the UK, everyone will know.

• Marido / Mulher (or Esposo / Esposa, more formal): husband / wife. Marido and mulher are what you'll actually hear day to day, esposo/esposa sounds a bit more formal, like paperwork.

The Alert Word: Amante

Whatever you do, don't mix this one up. Amante doesn't mean partner, it means the person someone is cheating with. Call someone's namorado(a) their amante by mistake and you've just accused them of having an affair.

In a Sentence

• Ele não é meu namorado, é só meu ficante = He's not my boyfriend, he's just someone I'm seeing.

• Ela é minha noiva = She's my fiancée.

Nothing Is Assumed, You Have to Ask

Here's the part that trips a lot of foreigners up: moving from ficante to namorado(a) isn't something that just happens naturally over time, someone actually has to ask. It's called the pedido de namoro, literally "the boyfriend/girlfriend request", and until that conversation happens, you're still just ficantes, no matter how long you've been seeing each other.

It's not the case for everyone, but it's common enough to matter. If you never ask, the other person might not sit around waiting, they can quietly read your silence as you not wanting to take things further, and drift off instead of bringing it up themselves. Você quer namorar comigo? (Will you be my girlfriend?)

It sounds like a big, formal question to say out loud, but in Brazil, that's genuinely what's expected.

Try this!

Next time you're describing someone in Brazil, pick the word for the actual stage you're at, ficante if it's casual, namorado(a) once it's official. Get it right and you'll sound like you actually know what's going on in your own love life.

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If today's lesson made you want more, I'd love to have you as a student.

I'm Samar, I'm Brazilian! I teach Brazilian Portuguese, one-on-one or in small groups, for anyone who actually wants to learn properly.